A person’s history can unfortunately create barriers to one’s heart. It is almost as though a person has two very distinct personalities. The first personality is reactive and responds with a self-preservation attitude. The second personality is the genuine & pure heart. Quite often the two personalities are polar opposites and challenging for those close to them. The constant misinterpretations of life continue to give validation to the need to self-protect and create barriers within relationships. The hardness, the uneasiness and the darkness become unbearable. Loneliness sets in their hearts and those that love them. Barrier after barrier, bitterness and frustration begin to define this person. God’s grace and compassion are all that can save a person from self-destruction. It is so ironic that what begins as self-preservation becomes self-destruction.
God makes no mistakes. God gives other strong willed and faithful people the opportunity to understand why God created them this way. But the miracle is in the growth of the strong-willed, faithful individual. God teaches and you learn. In a life that began with so much wisdom, knowledge and determination – you come to learn that you don’t know God as much as you thought. You learn that your life is not about your happiness or your dreams. Your strength and determination become necessary to fight to inspire the removal of barriers from hearts. Your strength becomes a shield of selflessness where your pain becomes less important than the pain of the one who hurts you because of their pain. Your determination becomes the determination to stay in faith, to hear God’s call on your life and to die to who you are with each breath you take.
It is not martyrdom, because each word and action must be prayed on and surrendered to. Each misspoken word and fearful reaction must seek forgiveness from God. You must become a vessel to God open to discomfort but a deep love for God knowing that He is the only healer. It is a hard journey in the human spirit, so you must gird your waist and fight a spiritual fight all in the name of God.
So why fight the fight…..because the one you love is worth it. God has blessed you with the compassion in your heart to love beyond the hardness and appreciate the pain that has shaped the one you love. You are able to know God in a way that you have never known Him before. You remember that “God will not take you where His grace will not protect you.” You finally begin to recognize God's face in your loved one. If you do not fight the faithful fight, who will?
And then there is a moment in time…. when everything stops…. a moment when your loved one removes a barrier and trusts you enough to be vulnerable…. to accept your love. They reunite with the desires God has placed in their heart that they protect so diligently. A moment when you are reminded that it is not the relationship you are fighting for, but the opportunity to be there on the day that your loved one realizes they are worthy of God’s love.
© 2011 by Christina Valdez. All rights reserved
