As I share with others my journey of faith, it is purely to be a person that is able to relay the impact that God has had on my life - who I am and who I grow into. Each step of this journey following brain surgery for my son with the complication of Chemical Meningitis, brings more clarity to me as I seek it. I have never turned to the Bible more, reflected, meditated, prayed and wished to learn how to prevent my own actions from hindering the healing of my family. At the most difficult time of my life I have learned from the Lord how to trust Him with more confidence. With each moment that my trust grows to trust the Lord, I continue to see the physical healing of my son. Each day brings new revelation to me about how to change for the benefit of my family. That change must be of absolute trust in the Lord, beyond my own understanding (Prov 3:5). I accept my need to change more with each passing day, while the world around me appreciates my strength & faith, God has loved me through each painful moment and taught me how to forget about my own idea of what a mother and wife are to be. A mother's desire is to protect and love with compassion, so anything less than a gentle tone or touch is difficult to for a mother's heart during such a tremendous ordeal. Seeing your child in horrible pain is pure torment, so you try to prevent that pain in every way possible. But
that is why God surrounds us with what we need even when it breaks our hearts. God has blessed my son with a mother and father that bring uncomfortable balance into his life (yes I said uncomfortable balance - because in discomfort is where we grow-more on that on another entry). This is finally a time in my life that I have truly been able to appreciate the value of a person knowing what needs to get done and doing it without the breaking heart that I tend to have. And with this balance, my son has successfully completed one full week of daycare and celebrated his 9th birthday.
With each leap of faith on my part, my son's physical healing continues to be restored with strength. With each confession of my own sin, I personally grow stronger with more confidence in all that God has
planned for my family. Because I have accepted this journey, I have clearly understood this is a calling from God - a very special calling - I have been so blessed by God's wisdom & peace. The Bible says that
trials test the genuiness of one's faith (1 Peter 1:7), so I feel a great sense of accomplishment with each lesson I learn - and I live with more clarity each day. I can never relay an update about my son's health without my testimony of God's grace and wisdom, since the two are so tightly intertwined. God will answer our prayers, but we must be willing to find our comfort in Him and not try to rush the process. We must be willing to accept our wrongness with our human spirit even we are very justified in our actions or feelings. As I accept that I do not want to limit myself to what is humanly acceptable and expected, my journey becomes so much more peaceful, hopeful and joyful. I want to do what God desires for me rather than rely on my own understanding, because truly God's way is easier. If He says wait, then wait. If He says be still, then don't run to someone for comfort - sit in silence - do what He says - be still and don't try to figure out the next step. If He takes everyone away from you that normally comforts you - turn to Him and only Him - He'll let you know who you need to speak to that will help in your growth of faith and trust in Him. When He said my son was healed - then it was done - it was my responsibility to believe it with every breath I took - even when my son had a really bad headache, felt dizzy or fell to the ground almost hitting his head as he tried to shoot
a basketball. It was my responsibility to confidently proclaim that he was healed. And so he continues each day returning to the normal life of a 9 year old. His sadness that he may be in the hospital on his birthday has successfully transformed my baby's concern to should I get chocolate or vanilla cupcakes for my friends at daycare. All by the loving grace of God. Jesus said "...Don't be afraid; just believe, and she(he) will be healed." Luke 8:50 So as the father in Mark 9:24 asked, “I do believe, but help my unbelief!” God has helped me also, for the sake of my son and my family.
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding" (Proverbs 3:5)
"The Lord is my Strength and my (impenetrable) Shield; my heart trusts in, relies on, and confidently leans on Him, and I am helped; therefore my heart greatly rejoices, and with my song I will praise Him!" (Psalm 28:7)
© 2011 by Christina Valdez. All rights reserved
Monday, June 27, 2011
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Acceptance
Generally at this point in my journey I do not blog and share the rawness of my journey. My blog entries are generally a reflection of what I have learned and overcome. This is the part of the journey that is hard and requires constant rejection of fear, depression and anxiety.
My husband has challenged me to write about acceptance. I have taken this challenge with hope that this will renew my strength and perserverance. God tends to guide my words as I write them and give great revelation that helps me move forward.
At a time when families are deciding which beach to visit or if Disneyland or Disneyworld is the better trip, my family continues to be in a battle for my son's full healing. After a setback this past week from his surgery a month ago (chemical meningitis), I am in frequent prayer for complete healing & restoration for my son. Each day that we are home there is a temptation to fear his severe headaches returning. There is a roller coaster of emotions that tempt us to surrender to anger, lonliness, frustration & defeat.
This is were acceptance comes in. While we are in our human spirit all these feelings are capable of leading who we are and how we react. I have had to accept that this as my cross to bear as a mother and as a wife. If I do not accept this journey I will resist this journey and I will grow angry. I must accept that during these difficulties God is in control and there is not a single thing I can do to change the outcome, but pray & stay in faith trusting every promise God has made through his Word. I must meditate on His words, truths and promises and continue to ask for healing & peace & every other prayer that is required each new day.
Had Jesus not accepted His destiny of a cruel & torturous death our lives would not be as blessed as they are. We complain about what painful challenges we must face daily, yet how often do we make the effort to truly reflect on the destiny Jesus accepted as a benefit to human kind, even those that reject Him daily. I have recently reflected on the acceptance of the Virgin Mother of Jesus, to watch her son be tortured and know that she must watch and trust God's promise that this would fulfill Jesus full destiny.
Accepting these journey are painful and so hard, but amazingly necessary. Were it not for the acceptance of these journey we would not encounter the many blessings that God offers those who are obedient. When I accept the painful journey, I then learn how to accept the many blessings from God.
There is a tendency as humans to feel that we are supposed to create our own destiny and that our own efforts will create our happiness. But when we accept our blessings from God, it is an opportunity to bring glory to God rather than think we are surviving with our own efforts. When we accept that those things that are good are from God, we get to live beyond ourselves and we grow and we accept the peace & joy that God offers daily without skepticism.
As I accept my painful journey and thank God that he is growing me, I am able to know with confidence that this is all preparation for our amazing future. We are being healed as a family, individually and God will restore all that has been lost during these trying times.
"..."Don't be afraid; just believe, and she(he) will be healed." (Luke 8:50)
“I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.” (Romans 8:18)
"Blessed is a man who perseveres under trial; for once he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life, which the Lord has promised to those who love Him." James 1:12
© 2011 by Christina Valdez. All rights reserved
My husband has challenged me to write about acceptance. I have taken this challenge with hope that this will renew my strength and perserverance. God tends to guide my words as I write them and give great revelation that helps me move forward.
At a time when families are deciding which beach to visit or if Disneyland or Disneyworld is the better trip, my family continues to be in a battle for my son's full healing. After a setback this past week from his surgery a month ago (chemical meningitis), I am in frequent prayer for complete healing & restoration for my son. Each day that we are home there is a temptation to fear his severe headaches returning. There is a roller coaster of emotions that tempt us to surrender to anger, lonliness, frustration & defeat.
This is were acceptance comes in. While we are in our human spirit all these feelings are capable of leading who we are and how we react. I have had to accept that this as my cross to bear as a mother and as a wife. If I do not accept this journey I will resist this journey and I will grow angry. I must accept that during these difficulties God is in control and there is not a single thing I can do to change the outcome, but pray & stay in faith trusting every promise God has made through his Word. I must meditate on His words, truths and promises and continue to ask for healing & peace & every other prayer that is required each new day.
Had Jesus not accepted His destiny of a cruel & torturous death our lives would not be as blessed as they are. We complain about what painful challenges we must face daily, yet how often do we make the effort to truly reflect on the destiny Jesus accepted as a benefit to human kind, even those that reject Him daily. I have recently reflected on the acceptance of the Virgin Mother of Jesus, to watch her son be tortured and know that she must watch and trust God's promise that this would fulfill Jesus full destiny.
Accepting these journey are painful and so hard, but amazingly necessary. Were it not for the acceptance of these journey we would not encounter the many blessings that God offers those who are obedient. When I accept the painful journey, I then learn how to accept the many blessings from God.
There is a tendency as humans to feel that we are supposed to create our own destiny and that our own efforts will create our happiness. But when we accept our blessings from God, it is an opportunity to bring glory to God rather than think we are surviving with our own efforts. When we accept that those things that are good are from God, we get to live beyond ourselves and we grow and we accept the peace & joy that God offers daily without skepticism.
As I accept my painful journey and thank God that he is growing me, I am able to know with confidence that this is all preparation for our amazing future. We are being healed as a family, individually and God will restore all that has been lost during these trying times.
"..."Don't be afraid; just believe, and she(he) will be healed." (Luke 8:50)
“I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.” (Romans 8:18)
"Blessed is a man who perseveres under trial; for once he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life, which the Lord has promised to those who love Him." James 1:12
© 2011 by Christina Valdez. All rights reserved
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