One of my greatest challenges in life has been the feeling that I am different. I have been a very analytical and thoughtful person as long as I can remember. In my youth I would have to say this was mostly received as rebellion. As I reflect on my life I have had some influences of very unique personalities. People that have challenged societal views in their own personal ways. People who too have been a thorn in the side of the traditional, conventional perceptions of life. But these influences have been the most animated, intellectual, uniquely humored and most appreciated people in my life. These are the influences that have kept me balanced by keeping me off balanced, so that I may have an "off" button to my intensity. These are the influences that have allowed me to accept being a "circle" and no longer needing to comfortably be a "rhombus (merely a slightly unusual square)". These amazing people probably don't even realize how deeply they have impacted who I am - since it has only been recently that I myself have been able to truly appreciate who I am. As I explore a version of myself that has dreams greater than I ever imagined for myself or my family, I continue to accept who I am with more confidence and understanding. Let me begin with my highschool best friend that shared nick names with me, used dictionaries to create amusing scripts for prank calls and danced our final dance before graduation in tears - she was the Semi to my Colon. Then there is my Jaquelina, who enjoys the amazing gifts of laughing out loud and living life through a variety of lyrics and song - oh how her courage to live a life beyond the familiar keeps me on the edge of my seat. With a knack for stating the most outrageous observations of life, yet so intelligent and compassionate with those she graciously accepts into her heart. I dare not forget the Yen to my Yang who has loved me for me when everything within him said run for the hills. As he has allowed me the honor to love him, I have learned about unconditional love in a way I never knew existed. As we escape into our unusual world I am reminded how to remain connected to a geniune heart, regardless of how complex or confusing it may be at times. And last but not least my Mother. A woman so unaware of the expectation of society to be embarrassed. What courage it took to be who she was. A gift that has been gratefully accepted through the blood that pulses through my veins daily. She has given me the most courage to accept that I am a circle, to remove the boundaries of what society may expect of me. The desire to sing like no one is listening and dance like no one is watching. Her uniqueness has allowed me to be an open book to the world, without shame or embarrassment. I am God's child. I was created for His purpose. I accept each of these influences into my heart and character as I move forward, open to an undefined future full of hope, creativity, gratitude and fearlessness.
© 2011 by Christina Valdez. All rights reserved
